I got invited to the Arsenal end of season dinner dance last night. The guy seemed nice enough and even gave me a copy of the menu, which I'll post in this article.

ARSENAL F.C.

END OF SEASON DINNER DANCE

Starter

Egg on Face

Seasoned Hash

Frogs legs (past their best)

Spanish Surprise (well beaten)

Main course

Humble Pie

Chump Chops

French (has) Beans

Manager's Beef (not rare)

Catch of the Day - big lemon Sol (gutted)

NB: everything is imported, nothing is home grown.

Dessert

Sour Grapes (may be hard to swallow)

Fruitless Tarts

Raspberry Fools

Hard Cheese

Drinks

Bitter

Little Spirit

French Whine

Cabernet Empty 2006

Champagne - sorry none ordered

STRICTLY NO DOUBLES OR TREBLES

NB: drinks should be consumed from glasses as there will be no cups this year.